Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
