Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
