what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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