I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So vagazzling was a success
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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