i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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