She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
