so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
jump out the window naked night went bad
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
