i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
