So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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