sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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