No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
