So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
