The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
third nipple confirmed
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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