I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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