spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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