The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
