i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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