Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize