Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize