I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
