I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize