We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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