I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
