Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
