I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
