so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
is that a dick in a sweater?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
