Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
