I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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