Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
