I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
