I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Terrible idea I love it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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