Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
