Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
MIDGETS
????
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
