He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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