Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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