kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
