you guys were way drunker than both of me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
