My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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