the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am full of burrito and curiosity
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize