I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
