I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
