Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she looked like the before picture.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
