I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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