suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
