Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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