is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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