I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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