my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize