Where is the hickey?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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