I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
