your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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