It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
