She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
