Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize