You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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