I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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