if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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