I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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