I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
