There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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