omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I need a beard to bite.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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