My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
